Precinct Problems
by Grizzly98
Summary: On edge from his husband's over-energetic/chaotic personality Cobra seeks relief in the one force able to calm the pinkett down and soothe his nerves with just a smile and two balls of trouble that call him 'Daddy'


**Grizz: I hope you're happy.**

 **Deadpool: *grins* Very. And might I add that it's about damn time?!**

 **Grizz: *growls* Fuck off! I had a very hard time trying to figure out how to write CoLu. My experience is in NaLu and Lugratsu. It's only thanks to Sam and his request for a funny cop Natsu that I even came up with this damn thing at all.**

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Turning the key in the ignition, the police officer leans back in his seat with a sigh, his eyes fluttering closed in a semblance of the sleep he hopes to get when he goes home. Mentally preparing himself, the officer climbs out of his car. Opening the back door, he nods to the ground. "Come Cubellios." A large rottweiler emerges from the door, leaping down to the ground with a grunt and the officer shuts the car door.

Cubellios on his heel, the officer walks up to the station, entering through a set of double doors and shuffling down a long well lit hall. Coming to a closed door with a metal bar, the officer pauses, glancing at the dog. "Track him, Cubellios." The dog huffs and takes off at a full run down the hall while the officer pushes the door open to a locker room.

Inside he trudges past a couple empty isles, all the while loosening the different buckles and buttons of his uniform. Turning down an aisle he stops in front of his locker, twisting the lock with the correct combination and sighing in relief when it opens without a problem. Then he takes his time, removing his hat and combing a hand through maroon hair before hanging the accessory on the coat hook bolted to the wall of the locker.

Just as he's changing his uniform and sweat-stained undershirt for a faded gray t-shirt he picks up a yell on the edge of his hearing. He lifts his head, turning to narrow in on the sound and frowns, quickly changing out of the uniform pants for a pair of jeans before shoving everything into a duffel bag, shoving his feet pack into a pair of worn down brown boots, relocking his locker and moving to the door at the opposite end of the room he entered from.

When he opens the door reflex has him ducking his head to avoid the metal rod that would've gotten him in the forehead. After the rod disappears he comes up to find the main bullpen of the station as chaotic as it typically is when he gets off work. For the first time since he pulled into the station parking lot, he grins, his eyes landing on the two officers standing on opposite desks.

The officer on the desk to his right has black hair, navy blue eyes, and is lacking a uniform shirt though he still wears an undershirt for the time being. One, the maroon-haired officer knows won't last long. In the man's hand, a four foot long live cattle prod parries away its' offending counterpart held tightly in the other man's grip. An unbalanced, overreaching jab has the maroon-haired officer looking to the man on the desk to his left. This officer has short salmon pink hair, onyx eyes, but is dressed in a black vest, white shorts, and sandals.

The latter officer grins, revealing elongated fangs in the overhanging lights and cackles, sweeping under the former's parry to make contact with his arm. The officer in uniform yelps, scowling at his enemy. "Damnit, Natsu, I told you not to turn it all the way up."

Natsu, the pinkett, arches an eyebrow, swinging his cattle prod in a feint. "I didn't turn it all the way up, Ice Princess, you're just weak." Playful anger flashes in the uniformed officers' eyes and he holds the cattle prod up over his shoulder as he would a spear. He grins darkly.

"Weak? I'll show you weak. Stunning Spear!" The maroon haired officer turns his gaze away from Natsu leaping off his desk in favor of looking at the gray-haired man that has appeared on top of the filing cabinet beside him.

"Evening, Chief, I hope he hasn't caused too much trouble?" The Chief of Police snorts, his black eyes following the mayhem unfolding in front of them.

"Nonsense, Eric." The maroon-haired officer follows his gaze to where a cell is built off to one side. The cell is full of convicts waiting to be booked that look utterly terrified of the madness they're witnessing. "He did a mighty fine job today and has yet to break anything. Though I think Gray will be glad when you can take him off his hands. He started as soon as he was off the clock."

Eric chuckles, repositioning the strap of his duffel bag over his shoulder to make it more comfortable. He and Natsu have been Police Officers for nearly four years now. In that time no one in the precinct has been able to find a way to do away with all of the pinkett's boundless energy. So—much to his amusement—because Natsu typically clocks off half an hour before he does, the Chief has taken to assigning different people to keep an eye on the pinkett so he can't break something. Normally, as soon as Eric clocks off, Natu becomes his responsibility but to the maroon-haired officer, it would appear no one but the Chief has noticed his appearance yet.

That draws his attention to another of his responsibilities—his own canine partner. Glancing around the bullpen he groans when he finds his partner sitting in a desk chair beside a familiar white lab, watching the chaos with their tongues lolling. He's about to call to the dogs, ordering them to him when he hears a yelp and looks up to find Gray back on top of the desk, fighting with the pinkette with what appears to be broom handles.

When Gray jumps over a sweep that would've knocked off his perch he must catch sight of the maroon-haired officer because he scowls, dividing his attention between his defense and glaring at the off-duty officer. "Cobra, come get your husband before I murder him!"

The bullpen falls quiet, Gray's announcement seeming to draw everyone's attention to him and he sighs, walking further into the mess. "Just had to ruin my fun. I was enjoying watching you get your ass kicked, Gray."

Gray huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "He's your damned husband. Why do I have to keep babysitting him?"

"You broke the coffee pot." One officer calls out.

"Misplaced the file for the store robbery last week." Another calls out helpfully.

"Didn't show up for your shift on time!" The raven-haired officer's face falls when Chief chimes in grinning delightfully.

"Lost your uniform shirt three times today." At that one, Gray glances down. Realizing he's lost his shirt he yelps, looking around the room for it.

When he doesn't find it right away, he sighs, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Alright, I guess I deserved that one." He turns to Eric, his eyes silently pleading. "Still, would you mind taking him? I don't know how you always keep up with him."

 _I don't,_ the maroon-haired officer wants to tell him. _I can barely keep up with him most days and there are others where I don't even have the energy to try._ Instead, he shrugs grinning at the pinkett who's somehow ended up with the dogs on the other side of the bullpen while they've been talking. "Practice, Gray, lots and lots of practice." _In patience_ goes without being said.

With that he turns back to the chief, bowing his head in respect. "I'll have those reports to you by tomorrow morning, Chief." The short man nods and Eric turns to his husband, "Natsu! Come on, time to go home!" Natsu grins, racing over to the door even as Eric slowly approaches it. At the pinkett's heels, both dogs stroll at a leisurely pace, tongues lolling in their excitement to go home after a long day.

Following his husband out into the front parking lot he's treated with the sight of the pinkett racing for the truck doors beside both dogs. Cubellios, for all her worth, seems content to take the bed of the truck while...He arches an eyebrow when Plue trips Natsu up in order to steal the spot in front of the passenger side door. Natsu, though, doesn't take it laying down.

He jumps back up, scowling at his canine partner, and literally picks the dog up, setting him in the bed with Cubellios. "Nope, not happening. We've been other this, Plue. You cheat I take the seat. You do this at least once a week." Plue whines, shooting the pinkett what Eric knows to super effective puppy eyes but Natsu doesn't bend, climbing into the passenger side seat when he unlocks the door.

Erica throws his duffel bag in the bed with the dogs and climbs into the driver's seat. Starting the truck, they roll out of the parking lot in silence, Natsu's unlimited energy finally calming somewhat now that they're away from what they could call their second home.

When they stop at a red light, he glances at his husband, finding the man watching the yellow caution strips that mark the median of the four-lane road. "So how was work today?"

Natsu shrugs, looking at him instead of the road. "Same old, same old. Got called to chase down a runner, Plue tried to steal a kid's ice cream, had fun playing with the elementary school kids at recess." Hearing about the kids he arches an eyebrow.

"I can't believe I forgot about the career day. How did that go?"

Natsu perks up, folding his arms behind his head. "It went pretty good. A lot of the kids were all over Plue but the little monster didn't do any worse than the day that one kid tried to feed him glue." Both he and the pinkett shudder at the memory of an entire day spent at the vet. They still didn't know how the kid had gotten super glue.

Turning down a back road surrounded on both sides by thick trees, Eric turns on the high beams, his eyes focused solely on the road. Natsu, he knows, will be looking at both sides of the ride, keen eyes open for the reflection that forwarns of whitetail deer—a very real threat when driving after dark. The rest of their driver continues like so, their focus more on the possible danger invisible in the dark then how their day had been.

Fifteen minutes later, their shoulders melt in relief when Eric pulls into a gravel driveway lit only by the single porch light hung beside the front door. Turning off the truck, they pour out into the night, Eric reaching for his duffle bag and Natsu whistling their partners off the back. Before they're even out of reaching distance of the truck something tackles Eric, knocking him to the ground. He bites back a groan with a chuckle.

"Hello, Nashi, did you miss me?" The girl, with Natsu's pink hair pinned back in two pigtails, giggles, nodding.

"I did, Daddy, I did. Come inside, I wanna show you the picture I drew."

Eric doesn't get the chance to answer though. A shadow takes up the light of the porch. Hands on hips, he can tell the woman is annoyed before she even has the chance to speak. "Nashi, Kinana, get your tails inside before I take away your bikes." Nashi flinches in his arms and gets up, running back to her. Behind the girl, another, shorter by a handful of inches follows just as quickly. Watching both interact with their mother, Eric can't stop the proud smile that crosses his features.

A chuckle comes from behind him, and the maroon-haired off-duty officer looks up to find his husband standing beside him, offering him a hand up. "I think Luce is a little ticked we didn't make it home in time for dinner."

Back on his feet, Eric shrugs and both men continue to the house. "Not our fault, I got held up waiting for back up on my call and well you," He pauses, glancing at the pinkett in the light of the porch. "You were being you. There's really nothing to do about that."

Ensuring the dogs are inside, Natsu closes the door behind them, kicking his shoes off on the linoleum as he goes. "Hey, you know you wouldn't want me any other way."

Eric grins, wagging his eyebrows at the man. "I don't know. There is a very beautiful blonde I could always pick."

The pinkett whines, looking over at where the blonde woman stands in the kitchen pulling two plates out of the microwave. "Lucy, Eri is being mean again!" Eric rolls his eyes at his husband, more than used to the overdramatics that he pulls which typically accompanies the use of his nickname. It's not one that he hears often. Compared to his other, 'Cobra' he'd earned by catching a copperhead that had slipped into a trailer home barehanded, he hears that one on a daily basis, some of his co-workers not even knowing his real name.

Eri, though, that one is only between his energetic husband and their beautiful girlfriend.

In the kitchen, Lucy rolls her eyes, looking at one lover than the other before turning back to the stove. "Of course, I could always leave you two, take the kids, and run for Levy's." It's said out of jest, all three know but it still sends a shiver of fear down Eric's spine cold enough to have him walking forward to rub a shoulder against Natsu's. Natsu's grin softens and he wraps an arm around him. "Relax, we would never leave you. You're as stuck with us like flies to honey."

On his other side, Lucu leaves the kitchen and wraps her arms around both, kissing each softly before pulling away once more. "Never leaving you two lunatics. Who else would do your clothes? Or make sure you got enough to eat?"

Eric grins, leaning into his husband's hold. "Yeah. Flies to honey." With his agreement Lucy turns back to the kitchen, throwing a comment over her shoulder.

"You two go play with the girls, I'll let you know when dinner's ready." Eric does as she commands, turning his overenergetic lover away from the amazing smells sifting from the kitchen and toward the living room where he can see both of their daughters doodling on paper. And he smiles, truly happy with the family and friends he has.

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 **Grizz: Ngl, that actually turned out kinda adorable.**

 **Deadpool: *opens mouth***

 **Grizz: I'm still not gonna write it again unless I end up losing another bet with Mira. Which, folks, I have learned DO NOT MAKE A DAMN BET WITH THE DEVIL. If you lose you lose badly. All I wanted out of it were some wings and cheesy bread. No this bitch wants CoLu babies. Which btw I should probably add that Nashi is NaLu's child and Kinana is CoLu's *eyeroll* Hope you're happy, Mir.**

 **DP: *yelps rubbing ass* *glares at Grizz holding BB gun* Right, cranky Grizz is a mean Grizz. Just wanted to wish y'all a Happy Halloween. Remember, if it has your sibling's name on it then you're free to take it!**

 **Grizzly and Deadpool out for the night.**


End file.
